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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (3259)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

#21386816
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (7573)

On 04/03/2015 at 12:37am - work - by eaglesmile - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (3709)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26328) - you deserved it (2043)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (1881)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (3262)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

#21386294
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13483) - you deserved it (26631)

On 04/02/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by banana12321 - United States (California)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (968)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, I spent my last $50 to get a ticket to take my daughter out for a nice birthday dinner tonight. It wasn't until after I purchased it that I realized the restaurant isn't even open on Mondays. FML

#21388611
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (4734)

On 04/06/2015 at 12:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

#21387438
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (2678)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

#21388506
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (3132)

On 04/06/2015 at 7:44am - animals - by tannerrosetx_1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (1456)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (4140)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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