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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

#21392323
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27570) - you deserved it (2435)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (3648)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss finally did something nice for me and bought me a coffee. By mistake I poured salt in it. To not be ungrateful, I drank it all in front of her. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (6904)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (2748)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (5347)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (4286)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (2575)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

#21388704
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (1588)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:02pm - work - by tee - United States (Missouri)

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

#21390911
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (9354)

On 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm - misc - by Jakesssss - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (2095)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)



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