Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34114) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML

#21353256
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35606) - you deserved it (4335)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:59am - love - by krh14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19720) - you deserved it (35797)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (2674)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (4886)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27364) - you deserved it (7011)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (2316)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommates told me they want me to move out of our apartment. We would have never gotten the apartment without my credit score, and most of the furniture is mine. FML

#21353380
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/10/2015 at 1:05pm - misc - by ididn'tevendoanythingwrong - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (3367)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

#21359797
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33528) - you deserved it (2384)

On 02/20/2015 at 12:56pm - work - by blahblah1993 - United States (Texas)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (5092)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: