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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19555) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

#21524651
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15503) - you deserved it (1814)

On 02/10/2016 at 12:08am - misc - by ApparentlyaPotato (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19166) - you deserved it (6958)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (2421)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

#21523696
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20208) - you deserved it (1644)

On 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm - misc - by Asian - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML

#21524771
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17398) - you deserved it (3870)

On 02/10/2016 at 10:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

#21523579
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (1280)

On 02/07/2016 at 1:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?" FML

#21525139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17698) - you deserved it (1865)

On 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by not satisfied - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23373) - you deserved it (1424)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML

#21524337
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (3793)

On 02/09/2016 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

#21524473
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18967) - you deserved it (2180)

On 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by hannieannie - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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