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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51673) - you deserved it (8038)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54075) - you deserved it (5211)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42020) - you deserved it (14015)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

#21261280
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38323) - you deserved it (14993)

On 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm - kids - by hypercrite dad (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (4917)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47785) - you deserved it (10319)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (9073)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
153 comments

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

#21258099
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (7120)

On 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by HiImAlfredo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46799) - you deserved it (3221)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia



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