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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (5146)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (6853)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43628) - you deserved it (10434)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42352) - you deserved it (6679)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (17883)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45770) - you deserved it (7798)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

#21242835
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41624) - you deserved it (5961)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:53pm - love - by flyakite - United States

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41322) - you deserved it (3387)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29336) - you deserved it (16544)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (5354)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (13642)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40758) - you deserved it (2928)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand



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