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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42347) - you deserved it (4225)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you deserved it (2922)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

#21247337
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53903) - you deserved it (3906)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42362) - you deserved it (7020)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49449) - you deserved it (6994)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (18184)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44936) - you deserved it (6528)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40720) - you deserved it (3848)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (3077)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43055) - you deserved it (3539)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (16940)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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