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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

#21247337
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (2508)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (39930)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (7794)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40718) - you deserved it (2538)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (17667)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42651) - you deserved it (5145)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41213) - you deserved it (6852)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44221) - you deserved it (4667)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (5699)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41022) - you deserved it (13635)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37383) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48057) - you deserved it (6814)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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