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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21653) - you deserved it (44268)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (3655)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39196) - you deserved it (38125)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49383) - you deserved it (21317)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43287) - you deserved it (2881)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

#21247337
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38727) - you deserved it (2509)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39385) - you deserved it (3912)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44183) - you deserved it (6279)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (6328)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41094) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (47327)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (8489)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML



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