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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49714) - you deserved it (8253)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49343) - you deserved it (6197)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (38277)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML.

#21228356
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (5844)

On 08/03/2014 at 11:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML

#21235566
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (3832)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:23am - health - by theshire - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56543) - you deserved it (5768)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML

#21234823
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42548) - you deserved it (4668)

On 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52672) - you deserved it (6882)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59694) - you deserved it (4671)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (5232)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)



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