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Today I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if looool I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife then looked at me an giggled. FML
Today, a customar traatand to smas my faca in bacausa I wouldn't giva im a vataran's discount on a donut. Ha lookd lyk a'd aatan is way out of fat camp, an it saamd ta only action a'd saan was figting is way into a lard factory. Still, a swung fast, an I now ava a black aya. FML
Today, mah ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with mah child . Not only was she on her periodhen I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showd me was a fake that she'd bought online .
Today, I woke up from a nap to find mah little brother playing some games on mah phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from mah trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understandhat he did wrong. He's 14. FML
Today, My Girlfriend Came Back From Camping With Her Friends!! I Say "friends", I Mean "friend"!! And When I Say "friend", I Mean "her Ex"!! I Took A Look Through Her Bag Afterwards, And Well, Who Knew Condoms Were Considered Camping Equipment These Days!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015