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July 2014

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Today.. . mah teenage daughter fakd a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her brthday . FML

#21198840
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55436) - you deserved it (11374)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if looool I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife then looked at me an giggled. FML

Today, I walked in on mah 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56785) - you deserved it (41799)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

I asked my boyfriend if e could finally go down on me . He said.. . "No.. . tat's disgusting" an ten asked me 4 a blowjob . mega FML

#21207695
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58356) - you deserved it (7240)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customar traatand to smas my faca in bacausa I wouldn't giva im a vataran's discount on a donut. Ha lookd lyk a'd aatan is way out of fat camp, an it saamd ta only action a'd saan was figting is way into a lard factory. Still, a swung fast, an I now ava a black aya. FML

#21219507
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (16721)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a grl I recently slept with messagd me, explaining through a rendition of ( Call Me Maybe ) that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46444) - you deserved it (14278)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, mah ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with mah child . Not only was she on her periodhen I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showd me was a fake that she'd bought online .

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51493) - you deserved it (5104)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today... my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car... but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. mega FML

#21213104
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (6809)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a dasign skatc fir work. I snappad a pic an sant it to ma boss. Sa rapliad, "Imprassiva. Nica skatc too." I was drawing at oma, nakad. My dick was in ta pictura. looool FML

Today, It's My Birthday. My Next-door Nieghbours Gave Me A Stool An Some Rope. FML

#21194564
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56291) - you deserved it (5217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

2day I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (5745)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find mah little brother playing some games on mah phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from mah trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understandhat he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52469) - you deserved it (5130)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, My Girlfriend Came Back From Camping With Her Friends!! I Say "friends", I Mean "friend"!! And When I Say "friend", I Mean "her Ex"!! I Took A Look Through Her Bag Afterwards, And Well, Who Knew Condoms Were Considered Camping Equipment These Days!! FML

#21222062
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54490) - you deserved it (6575)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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