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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45870) - you deserved it (4940)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

#21020544
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41625) - you deserved it (3588)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45923) - you deserved it (3964)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (4135)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46533) - you deserved it (3649)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

#21011862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38721) - you deserved it (3929)

On 12/31/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

#21014175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44257) - you deserved it (4405)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (7047)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47957) - you deserved it (11251)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

#21022635
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52547) - you deserved it (4762)

On 01/09/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by ReallyMom - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44144) - you deserved it (11416)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (7525)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)



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