Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44912) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (52167)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (4298)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

#21043075
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (3370)

On 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (15660)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52925) - you deserved it (4597)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41906) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53481) - you deserved it (6488)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43784) - you deserved it (6526)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (4899)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54134) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39806) - you deserved it (3663)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: