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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37530) - you deserved it (4770)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML

#21014729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (3308)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:24pm - misc - by Frustrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36666) - you deserved it (5052)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41496) - you deserved it (5769)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

#21043493
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (3542)

On 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm - work - by smileydays - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML

#21044115
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41593) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Xpload (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46578) - you deserved it (14600)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (5263)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

#21040578
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43817) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Ceredigion)

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

#21041865
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (4834)

On 01/27/2014 at 2:26pm - love - by love you too mommy - United States (New York)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

#21015718
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (3449)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm - misc - by estranger (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

#21038740
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (6119)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm - misc - by DJ (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38664) - you deserved it (4950)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)



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