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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." 5ML

#21038006
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3852)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:36am - love - by MH - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (44994)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (5577)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (9143)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (4496)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (4091)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (3798)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48459) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45157) - you deserved it (4406)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

#21014713
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46567) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by neta_1996 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46797) - you deserved it (4883)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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