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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (4335)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39539) - you deserved it (6291)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50756) - you deserved it (4693)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

#21013314
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36417) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by Okay_Then (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45887) - you deserved it (3955)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

#21014568
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37512) - you deserved it (7792)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (4623)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41342) - you deserved it (5431)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36925) - you deserved it (11986)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44984) - you deserved it (5143)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38898) - you deserved it (8865)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47112) - you deserved it (5057)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)



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