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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49071) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (4617)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (5264)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

#21013314
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by Okay_Then (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44110) - you deserved it (3775)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36811) - you deserved it (11944)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (4326)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43688) - you deserved it (5006)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

#21012251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46034) - you deserved it (4951)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:04am - love - by dantko (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (8545)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46912) - you deserved it (3436)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36831) - you deserved it (3501)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



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