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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50084) - you deserved it (5314)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (6565)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44213) - you deserved it (5429)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (5662)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42347) - you deserved it (7743)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

#21034680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (3947)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." 5ML

#21038006
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:36am - love - by MH - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (44230)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41360) - you deserved it (5436)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40130) - you deserved it (4441)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46703) - you deserved it (4035)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39650) - you deserved it (8984)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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