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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (47505)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40910) - you deserved it (3784)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (29832)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

#21020871
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46870) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Jae_Hellyun (man) - United States

Today, I called my auto insurance company to try to get some discounts and lower my rate. I ended up adding $30 to my monthly payment. FML

#21021391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (12044)

On 01/08/2014 at 2:03pm - money - by Can2 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

#21030662
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37816) - you deserved it (7905)

On 01/17/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by dylanhollis - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46936) - you deserved it (9161)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my wedding photos back. The only decent picture of my husband and me together also featured a fat guy in a crop top behind us. FML

#21041939
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/27/2014 at 3:55pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

#21046250
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm - work - by fuckfuck (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (4813)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34679) - you deserved it (18573)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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