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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46147) - you deserved it (6110)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

#20981341
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46498) - you deserved it (7486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/05/2013 at 1:52am - animals - by Chatons - Switzerland

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52000) - you deserved it (7174)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

#21008500
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42056) - you deserved it (3118)

On 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by worstwaytodumpagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52219) - you deserved it (4943)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55657) - you deserved it (16006)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41596) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

#20978799
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49948) - you deserved it (5780)

On 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm - love - by rock'n roller (man) -

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (9490)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56139) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (20600)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39023) - you deserved it (6795) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51338) - you deserved it (5343)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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