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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

#20980385
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36788) - you deserved it (15036)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - work - by russianfail - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56041) - you deserved it (3580)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51285) - you deserved it (9396)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

#20993307
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44614) - you deserved it (6467)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML

#21004910
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (13786)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (6583)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46182) - you deserved it (4243)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53435) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46178) - you deserved it (3650)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (50241)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53051) - you deserved it (8379)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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