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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47606) - you deserved it (6280)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52789) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML

#20995564
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (4989)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by not-religious (woman) - United States

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47735) - you deserved it (5702)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54824) - you deserved it (7499)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49937) - you deserved it (7685)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48099) - you deserved it (3952)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML

#20996935
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43740) - you deserved it (16361)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Rob (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

#21002524
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52320) - you deserved it (6243)

On 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by JoshuasGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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