Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (43045)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41794) - you deserved it (4573)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

#20951207
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45411) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/09/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (2735)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44780) - you deserved it (4077)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54099) - you deserved it (5888)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

#20960082
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50607) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55542) - you deserved it (6912)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57984) - you deserved it (4270)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49291) - you deserved it (15678)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39583) - you deserved it (7696)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (5225)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: