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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45029) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56660) - you deserved it (4163)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55600) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39337) - you deserved it (4332)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

#20968315
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37597) - you deserved it (7397)

On 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40578) - you deserved it (6735)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44393) - you deserved it (4046)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48605) - you deserved it (15496)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (3634)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54469) - you deserved it (3212)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54478) - you deserved it (7942)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



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