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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67830) - you deserved it (4694)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62374) - you deserved it (4530)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33825) - you deserved it (49119)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

#20947507
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (21336)

On 11/06/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (4096)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (89298)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48535) - you deserved it (4033)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (4494)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50772) - you deserved it (10879)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91566) - you deserved it (6645)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67079) - you deserved it (5005)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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