Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49059) - you deserved it (2677)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (7691)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40835) - you deserved it (41447)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50379) - you deserved it (6464)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42739) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (43917)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

#20967131
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38464) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm - kids - by houdinette (woman) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55320) - you deserved it (5833)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42007) - you deserved it (10221)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48080) - you deserved it (12620)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34733) - you deserved it (3810)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44819) - you deserved it (4551)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: