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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54858) - you deserved it (5735)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40692) - you deserved it (11920)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48820) - you deserved it (5115)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50519) - you deserved it (4529)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, after hours of organizing and spending around $300 for my three-year-old's birthday party, I realized I forgot to send out the invitations. FML

#20951338
160 comments

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (38867)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52083) - you deserved it (18691)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53163) - you deserved it (6790)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18357) - you deserved it (47593)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

#20954137
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (9875)

On 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Cheer4Life (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (4746)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)



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