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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43103) - you deserved it (6976)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48384) - you deserved it (3399)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41990) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43916) - you deserved it (3002)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41846) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47974) - you deserved it (4471)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45221) - you deserved it (4260)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56062) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (5482)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (7361)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



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