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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42264) - you deserved it (4742)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43709) - you deserved it (4836)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53196) - you deserved it (4896)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48801) - you deserved it (4450)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47507) - you deserved it (4176)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46600) - you deserved it (4894)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61596) - you deserved it (3576)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45545) - you deserved it (6255)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54394) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (8713)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58235) - you deserved it (9914)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -



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