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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42753) - you deserved it (5883)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53480) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60616) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37452) - you deserved it (8312)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (3426)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45636) - you deserved it (4986)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48919) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41145) - you deserved it (12328)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49570) - you deserved it (5527)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (4342)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44101) - you deserved it (9821)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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