Choose the period

All time / Top of the month / Top of the week / Top of the day
October 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

by KamiyaHaine / 10/02/2013 at 1:54am / Singapore / Love

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm / United States / Work

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

by single / 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

by s13495 / 10/24/2013 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Work

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm / United States (New Mexico) / Health

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

by HGTV / 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

by broke_broken / 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

by okaythen / 10/04/2013 at 5:37am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

by failure / 10/10/2013 at 10:11am / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Animals

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

by CelibateHero / 10/05/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation