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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48298) - you deserved it (3609)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41972) - you deserved it (3583)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47468) - you deserved it (5194)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49958) - you deserved it (5114)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (4452)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44798) - you deserved it (9947)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45002) - you deserved it (6696)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50275) - you deserved it (5415)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46628) - you deserved it (7784)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44805) - you deserved it (3897)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42377) - you deserved it (25977)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49621) - you deserved it (8109)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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