Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (2886)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

#20935542
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58769) - you deserved it (5600)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49079) - you deserved it (13361)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (14831)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52402) - you deserved it (17525)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46670) - you deserved it (3449)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64397) - you deserved it (4984)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53577) - you deserved it (7183)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58232) - you deserved it (4345)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50387) - you deserved it (6921)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: