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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57022) - you deserved it (20435)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22515) - you deserved it (34323)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46150) - you deserved it (4663)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46060) - you deserved it (3108)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45218) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

#20828404
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44263) - you deserved it (5554)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by please don't back that thing up - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47184) - you deserved it (4787)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47690) - you deserved it (6930)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (4411)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

#20823726
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44288) - you deserved it (8811)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm - health - by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - United States (New York)

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

#20818742
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38067) - you deserved it (3534)

On 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57053) - you deserved it (6362)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom



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