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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Raalizd I Lova Boyfriand's Cat Mora Than Boyfriand. Tha Only Raason Wa'ra Still Togathar Is I Don't Want To Loosa Custody Of Tha Cat. FML

#20859438
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (39510)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (10641)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was waiting in line wit my boyfriend biend me. I decided to old is and and rub is cest wile we waited. Ten I eard a female voice biend me tat said, "Ma'am, please don't touc me." FML

#20852134
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (15147)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

today I asked my mom if I was ugly . She said.. . "Ask yur girlfriend." I said I don't have one . She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48329) - you deserved it (4843)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

I was told tat I looked like a Kardasian by a total stranger. Flattered , I asked wic one. His response? "I don't know , te ugly one." FML

#20848594
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (5303)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to mah boss's dinner party. My sister,ho also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kickd her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's babby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54240) - you deserved it (18224)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with family. A huge wave came up an knockd me over. When we got to the van, I realizd that the keys that had been in pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, an money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41890) - you deserved it (6407)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out via Instagram that mah boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimd. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. big fat FML

#20815203
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54682) - you deserved it (3609)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, mah suparior gava ma a box of atharnat cablas which wara praviously attachd to mainframas storing classifid data. Ha raquastd I cut tham in half so that tha rasidual data would laak out. Not only doas this guy maka twica mah salary, thara was no convincing him otharwisa. Wa cut tham up.

Today... I went to see a therapist 4 help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inche away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with... ( Aren't therapist supposed to help you face your feres? ) I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (7124)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dislocatd mah shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and mah eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stoppd, and I was thrilld because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stoppd to order a cheeseburger. FML

#20823062
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55572) - you deserved it (4326)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

2day mah son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her . She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, cuz ( they say that to all the dying people on TV ) . FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45183) - you deserved it (4045)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today.. . I found mah elderly neighbour on all fours in mah garden eating mah flowers . FML

#20836671
114 comments


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