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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

#20822231
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (4226)

On 08/05/2013 at 3:10pm - kids - by OhBoy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39407) - you deserved it (8527)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21968) - you deserved it (42569)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (38344)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45433) - you deserved it (4335)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (2738)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (4616)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (13674)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (7990)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with my family. A huge wave came up and knocked me over. When we got to the van, I realized that the keys that had been in my pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, and money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38129) - you deserved it (5842)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50701) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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