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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

#20838310
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (45022)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50323) - you deserved it (5030)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49494) - you deserved it (5225)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50683) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53238) - you deserved it (15785)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

#20842873
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48841) - you deserved it (2717)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:43am - work - by sweet23 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

#20831608
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (60893)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58396) - you deserved it (16428)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59680) - you deserved it (6920)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56580) - you deserved it (4088)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my hair done. The hairdresser managed to catch my eyebrow piercing in his comb and almost rip it out. I now look like I have a gunshot wound on the upper right hand side of my face. I'm getting married in a matter of hours, and I still had to pay £100 for the hair cut. FML

#20831030
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (13661)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:55pm - misc - by ouchbrow (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50780) - you deserved it (18092)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (6812)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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