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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

#20808571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (4584)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by LeaveTheGuyAlone (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59792) - you deserved it (5135)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

#20799897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49218) - you deserved it (4250)

On 07/23/2013 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by oddgrrl99 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML

#20811311
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38906) - you deserved it (4638)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by imagrouch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (49315)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

#20798415
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by 1942ford (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML

#20800837
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38410) - you deserved it (3966)

On 07/24/2013 at 5:15am - work - by CapNCook (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34768) - you deserved it (8670)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

#20813792
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44895) - you deserved it (7419)

On 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by -_____- (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43530) - you deserved it (4573)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched one of my neighbor's trees fall into the electrical lines outside my house. This was after he took a chainsaw to the tree. He refuses to cover the damages. FML

#20801131
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44506) - you deserved it (2655)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:44pm - money - by trees - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40374) - you deserved it (12462)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46240) - you deserved it (3501)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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