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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45921) - you deserved it (15109)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58308) - you deserved it (4904)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50215) - you deserved it (7270)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (5648)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45309) - you deserved it (21611)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

#20763233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (7789)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51495) - you deserved it (8510)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51089) - you deserved it (4021)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (3820)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59951) - you deserved it (12916)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML



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