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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

#20761546
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (2910)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm - health - by ToiletTroubles (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51848) - you deserved it (5764)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62101) - you deserved it (13039)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (20023)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49668) - you deserved it (8983)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50481) - you deserved it (2950)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (38164)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

#20811045
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44024) - you deserved it (3572)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48660) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35648) - you deserved it (6828)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (3808)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (2764)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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