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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50464) - you deserved it (9648)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55591) - you deserved it (3414)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

#20781390
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (3763)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:35am - health - by coughcough - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48755) - you deserved it (4606)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44667) - you deserved it (6718)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56875) - you deserved it (6798)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (5018)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (5035)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54049) - you deserved it (17425)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44282) - you deserved it (5557)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (6217)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49353) - you deserved it (13969)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML

#20813192
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50765) - you deserved it (4394)

On 07/31/2013 at 10:15am - work - by Zatnikatel (man) - United States (Kansas)



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