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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47668) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41425) - you deserved it (3639)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (3073)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18996) - you deserved it (59229)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44590) - you deserved it (4853)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (9627)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47325) - you deserved it (3512)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (45309)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (5143)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49222) - you deserved it (5465)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40940) - you deserved it (4247)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54004) - you deserved it (3468)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47397) - you deserved it (8594)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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