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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43788) - you deserved it (3828)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51514) - you deserved it (5408)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (10461)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48148) - you deserved it (4514)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49669) - you deserved it (3808)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56788) - you deserved it (3414)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62247) - you deserved it (3877)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (48201)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (46834)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44713) - you deserved it (4161)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

#20761229
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (4008)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:11am - kids - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48893) - you deserved it (3407)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43851) - you deserved it (8983)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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