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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53801) - you deserved it (5325)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

#20752684
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51700) - you deserved it (7264)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54698) - you deserved it (3905)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

#20700486
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49841) - you deserved it (15372)

On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59725) - you deserved it (4473)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58976) - you deserved it (4851)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

#20726995
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50379) - you deserved it (4930)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (5281)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62277) - you deserved it (6878)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38719) - you deserved it (3974)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42948) - you deserved it (26880)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61472) - you deserved it (4438)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

#20706851
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58767) - you deserved it (3725)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)



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