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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62843) - you deserved it (4921)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48680) - you deserved it (9826)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49426) - you deserved it (3789)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54230) - you deserved it (9176)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75083) - you deserved it (8356)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38450) - you deserved it (16824)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93666) - you deserved it (5913)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70586) - you deserved it (3935)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63139) - you deserved it (4297)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (52559)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (42314)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60054) - you deserved it (34831)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)



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