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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94801) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55736) - you deserved it (4170)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64452) - you deserved it (6465)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44988) - you deserved it (77115)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (57087)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66418) - you deserved it (14537)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82714) - you deserved it (5696)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54984) - you deserved it (19431)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59153) - you deserved it (4607)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58706) - you deserved it (8382)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53276) - you deserved it (9526)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78488) - you deserved it (7031)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59471) - you deserved it (4266)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)



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