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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60065) - you deserved it (4616)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41487) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (44733)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51239) - you deserved it (4440)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (9595)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49276) - you deserved it (9359)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46626) - you deserved it (3193)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (22989)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49249) - you deserved it (3579)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46268) - you deserved it (2724)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (35685)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (4326)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50237) - you deserved it (7091)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)



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