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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45330) - you deserved it (7700)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41305) - you deserved it (4722)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (69412)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (13243)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46496) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61329) - you deserved it (4714)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51393) - you deserved it (9665)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (23771)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (3342)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48593) - you deserved it (3356)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51346) - you deserved it (4447)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44477) - you deserved it (9606)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51480) - you deserved it (3756)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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