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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

#20691079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53155) - you deserved it (5508)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46899) - you deserved it (4692)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44511) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43710) - you deserved it (6668)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46898) - you deserved it (6228)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55821) - you deserved it (9087)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69334) - you deserved it (8438)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46154) - you deserved it (6054)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59641) - you deserved it (4123)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74570) - you deserved it (5542)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (73795)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42520) - you deserved it (3211)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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