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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66768) - you deserved it (14997)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55236) - you deserved it (2802)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (8737)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45330) - you deserved it (13738) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

#20613403
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62184) - you deserved it (8268)

On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (70152)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53216) - you deserved it (8477)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML

#20610275
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (6182)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65152) - you deserved it (21348)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55174) - you deserved it (6041)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55033) - you deserved it (11406)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41388) - you deserved it (33044)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (6444)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -



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