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Saturday 1 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (11052)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed hysterically as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (3525)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37987) - you deserved it (5145)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45765) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (3096)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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