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Saturday 18 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51429) - you deserved it (9637)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (53879)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48731) - you deserved it (5780)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35046) - you deserved it (57093)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

#21031915
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51913) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by yes i meant ex-boyfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48015) - you deserved it (7069)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (4333)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

#21031848
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44387) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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