Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... The Great Deal On Mah New Apartment Has Turned Into A Nightmare. I Keep Hereing Extremely Werd Sounds Almost Every Night... And When I Tried Taking Pics Of The Place Today... Mah Camera's Face Recognition Feature Kept Activating... But Only In Mah Bedroom. I'm Scared Shitless. FML

#20796032
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

my fiancé confrontd me about our wedding arrangements . Apparently, if he's not allowd to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off .

TODAY, WILE ARGUING WIT MA NEWLY EX-GIRLFRIEND OVER OW SE CEATD ON ME WIT A MUTUAL FRIEND, SE TRID TO WAS ER ANDS OF ANY GUILT, SAYING TAT I WAS "SELFIS" AND "JUST SLUT-SAMING, REALLY". FML

#20796093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (3441)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

I WENT TO SEE ONE OF MAH FAVORITE BANDS. THEY WERE HAVING SIGNINGS... BUT ONLY THE FRST ONE HUNDRD COULD GET ONE. WHEN I FINALLY GOT TO THE DESK... THEY SAID I WAS NUMBER HUNDRD AND ONE... AND TO GET LOST. FML

#20795083
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (4119)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today,hile filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it askedhat color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled ( Ghost is more like it. ) I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46410) - you deserved it (3806)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY , I ASKED THIS REALLY CUTE GRL FOR HER NUMBER. I HAD NOTHING ELSE ON ME SO I TOLD HER TO WRITE IT ON A DOLLAR BILL. LATER , WITHOUT THINKING , I PUT IT IN A VENDING MACHINE. I FREAKED OUT AND FRANTICALLY PUSHED THE RETURN BUTTON. IT GAVE ME BACK QUARTERS. FML

Today, I told mah boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47689) - you deserved it (3772)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from mah job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined there wedding !! They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them !! They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party !! FML

#20796202
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50558) - you deserved it (3607)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a bus an I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, an hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41818) - you deserved it (9036)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today... trying to looool flrt with a grl... I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (54132)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I was working te drive-troug at McDonald's. I greetd a customer wit a, "Hi, ow are looool you doing today?" His response: "Better tan you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48397) - you deserved it (7961)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I JOKINGLY TOLD MAH FRIEND THAT WHEN A TREE SEEMS TO SWAY IN THE WIND, IT'S REALLY JUST HAVING AN ORGASM. NOT ONLY DID SHE BELIEVE ME, SHE'S BEEN SMUGLY INFORMING EVERYONE WE KNOW. SHE'S 26. I SEEM TO BE FRIENDS WITH AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT. REAL FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (5543)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: