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Saturday 6 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , My Usband Received Te ( Antique ) Samurai Sword Tat E Bougt On Craigslist Wit $399.99 Of Our Money. He Only Sared My Outrage At Te Waste Of Money Wen E Opened Te Package , Only To Find A Toy Sword Along Wit A Note Saying , ( HAHA , TROLLED. ) Mega FML

#20767253
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54715) - you deserved it (9689)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, mah husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open yur buns, the meat is ready." fat FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55186) - you deserved it (7766)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today , I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect , I loose mah boner . FML

#20766909
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47506) - you deserved it (19059)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today , I poured mah heart out to mah now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of mah grandmother . Her eyes glazed over multiple times , andhen I said that I don't know how to cope with everything , her advice was simply , ( Shotgun . Mouth . Blam . ) FML

#20766944
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50838) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house fir the first time!! As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52235) - you deserved it (4469)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Yastarday,hila out 4 lunch, a guy approachad ma and askad 4 my numbar. I politaly daclinad. To my dismay, ha droppad to his knaas, grabbad his haad, and startad moaning about how nobody avar givas him a chanca. I falt tha accusing staras. FML

#20766730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48658) - you deserved it (6435)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during mah family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, mah water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. mega FML

#20767424
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49172) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today..!! I found outhy bank balanca is so unusually low!! It turns out that I bought a car in Indonasia!! I'va navar baan to Indonasia!! FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53745) - you deserved it (3202)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Taday I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice... cuz he thought he could store it under his bd and wait fir it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (4905)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after playing numerou games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played fir real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (45349)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (4865)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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