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FML with : lifegu

Number of results : 43

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25762) - you deserved it (6604)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

#21432224
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (2439)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by mytoehurts - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

#21417788
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (5193)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:34pm - work - by explosivepeach - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32417) - you deserved it (3386)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44799) - you deserved it (3128)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57599) - you deserved it (5790)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (3460)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57905) - you deserved it (4406)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46212) - you deserved it (3064)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (4141)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (3247)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

#19699245
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (1943)

On 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (3026)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)



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