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FML with : incid

Number of results : 33

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, I was studying on a bench outside my dorm when the leg snapped. I decided to do the right thing and let administration know what happened. After assuring me it wasn't my fault, and having me fill out an incident report, they billed me $400. I can't enroll for next semester until I pay. FML

#21489212
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (2265)

On 11/06/2015 at 12:29pm - money - by smoothies14 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

#21483651
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22644) - you deserved it (6899)

On 10/24/2015 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend to come sit next to me in class. I pulled out the chair next to me. Coincidentally, she started to sit at that same moment. Now both she and my teacher are convinced I did it on purpose, and they want to have a talk with my parents. FML

#21474870
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (2272)

On 10/01/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

#21466376
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (4846)

On 09/09/2015 at 1:09am - health - by davetherave1983 (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (2234)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48131) - you deserved it (5483)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48642) - you deserved it (3999)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44888) - you deserved it (7151)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60232) - you deserved it (4885) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (3053)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States



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