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Number of results : 77

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

#21094928
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (4754)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (5135)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (5199)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32245) - you deserved it (26070)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44246) - you deserved it (3786)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, I found out that the vacation my mom has been planning to "repair our relationship" was just an opportunity to change her Facebook profile picture. FML

#20895309
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (2249)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by clarakipper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

#20868475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (4528)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37136) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45967) - you deserved it (7240)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41955) - you deserved it (11608)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada



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