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FML with : pissi

Number of results : 25

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (10031)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (2860)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (3357)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33254) - you deserved it (2311)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

#20834187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (7223)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46708) - you deserved it (3673)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (7655)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

#20517994
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10915) - you deserved it (44125)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

#20105847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21659) - you deserved it (1249)

On 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by RIP (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

#19934119
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5720) - you deserved it (27345)

On 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm - work - by Alexander D. (man) - United States

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18942) - you deserved it (4944)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

#19126336
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (1653)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

#18295941
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (4181)

On 11/20/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Stinky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8269) - you deserved it (34585)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States



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