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FML with : haven't had

Number of results : 32

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML

#21167586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38059) - you deserved it (8917)

On 06/08/2014 at 10:17pm - misc - by It'd be nice to see you too. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

#21063667
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (6489)

On 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by I must suck at singing (woman) - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (37890)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (1772)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML

#19804016
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (1915)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML

#19293533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35974) - you deserved it (9671)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by noneedtostress - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

#18614402
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (5259)

On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37168) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

#16579726
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (3748)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:04pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

#15680012
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37001) - you deserved it (3093)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (3069)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22456) - you deserved it (3867)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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